Crushing to the wrong peeps

Hey Peeps, Assalamualaikum :)
So sem 3 already started a few weeks ago and it's super hectic lel. Feeling dying here hohohohohhoo help mee!! seriously I need help.
18/10/2018 - Week 6 already meh.

my faults

Hey peeps, how are you guys doing? Is it great nowadays? I wish the best for you guys...hehehe

Let's be honest, actually I feel lost, I feel bad. My the whole world turn their back from me??! Am I deserve all of this? I'm tired for being such a loser, people keep ignore me in every single that they done. Who am I to them? I want people to appreciate me as much as I appreciate their existence in my life. Yeah but I know where I stand, me myself doesn't have anything special, beauty??nahh I don't have that, I'm just such a fatty loser that try to gain my own confidence. Is it wrong ?

I keep asking my ownself why people hate me? Is it because of my appearance? I doesn't enough money to buy something expensive, I collect my own money since high school to buy Iphone 5s. Is that not enough to be acceptable by you guys?

When people keep talking about their academic while me realise that I don't deserve to be one of them, hurmmmm

It just too hard for me,,,but people doesn't care, who am I to deserve all of this attention?

5th July, it just a very special day for me, uhhh another year to live hah? On that day I wish that my life will get better in every single thing,, but this year?? broken heart,tears for the whole day on this special day//

When I hope tht at least a few people will call me texting me a whole night wishing me for my luck for another year to live on, hahahahahha I'm lucky to have at least one person that texting me that night

the next day?? I waited untill noon but my phone full of silent, how sad

It getting worse when for a few months later on their birthday, everyone keep wishing them praying for them non stop, "ahhhhhh, I should stop expecting much from everyone,,you doesn't deserve all of thus love,, who are you???"

hurmmmmmmmmmm,,,,,how sad,,,....

Jujur cakap kesian kat diri sendiri sebab tak mampu nak bahagia macam orang lainnn arghhhhh , I'm really sorry dearself

#phobiasjourney Degree

Assalamualaikum guys, long time no see. How are you guys doing? I'm having so much fun with my life right now.Everything are so exciting. Oh I think it still not to late for me to wish a very happy blessing NEW YEAR to all of you. May 2018 will be creating a better life of yours and remember that in what ever you do Allah is the greatest, do something and seek for His blessings. Alright??

How old are you guys this year?I already 20 meh,, hurmm hahahaha there will be no teen for me anymore and i think I should be more matured from before.

Let's move forward to my main point of writing today, "degree". I'll continue my writing in Malay as I'm not so expert in explaining in English, I wish I could write full English soon so everyone can rea and understand,

2017, tahun yang penuh dengan suka duka hiup sebagai remaja lepasan SPM dah continue next journey and for Nurul, nurul sambung masuk Asasi Sains di UiTM Dengkil. Seriously it was epic. Banyak yang nurul belajar kat sana sayang benci semua ada masa tu lah bnyak yang culture shock memang serius nurul selalu minta doa agar Allah lindungi diri dari benda negatif. Actually culture shock ni berlaku tetiba ja tapi jangan la pulak kita tunding jari dekat mereka acah macam kita ahli syurga okay guys? Alright lepas 2 sem bertarung nyawa kat sana alhamdulillah lepas satu lagi perjalanan hidup nurul. Final exam dahla susah pastu emosi tak stabil kena pulak say goodbye kat kengkawan.Sedih siot😭 memang takleh nak describe pisah ngan classmate dengan housemate, walaupun kenal 1 tahun ja tapi serius macam adik beradik dah. 

Bagi nurul walaupun orang kata the best friends of them adalah masa sekolah menengah adalah terbaik tapi sebenarnya tak pun. Sebab the best one adalah semua,, we shouldn't compare them like that lel. Lagipun masa sekolah lima tahun kat sama it's quite hard for me untuk berpura-pura sebagai budak acah baik,, actually best ja jadi macam tu tapi ya la kena pijak kepala la jawabnya sampaika nurul dah takde perasaan nak layan orang dah sebab dah terlampau penat ngan permainan manusia.

Okay done for that, nak kena tunggu result final dia tu tak payah cakap la memang tahap gaban dia makan pun tak de selera lagi teruk daripada break ngn pakwe.Sebab serius nurul tahu nurul tak perfom masa Final so masa tu just berharap tak fail ja sebab tak nak repeat serius..

Alhamdulillah lepas eventho dengan pointer 2.33 ja untuk keseluruhan. Walaupun memang rendah sangat but selagi lulus alhamdulillah💕